No Witnesses, Please.
So this is Home. Bugger.
Q. What’s this ‘Shanghai’ place you live in?
A. Shanghai used to be a muddy little fishing village on the banks of the Huangpu River. Then the British came and set up civilization, which immediately led to huge numbers of illegal immigrants arriving to take advantage of the business climate. Some very decent Americans, Japanese and Russians also showed up. Oh yes, and some French. By the 1920’s Shanghai was a booming centre of trade and had become known worldwide as ‘The Whore of the Orient’. Never had the world seen such a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Nowadays, of course, everything is very different: more people have televisions and some of the buildings are a little taller. There’s an ambitious social program (due to be completed by 2008), in which people are being trained to walk across the street only when the little green light is on. An even more ambitious and longer-term program aims to have all citizens able to both walk and chew gum simultaneously without any foreign assistance whatsoever by 2057. It’s all happening in this fast-changing mega-fishing village.
Q. What’s a ‘Laowai’?
A. Laowai is Mandarin for a no-good, uncultured and stupid barbarian who basically just comes to glorious China to steal jobs and women. Laowai’s come from uncivilized and awful places that have no culture, no history, and nothing whatsoever to like. A laowai, in fact, is the lowest conceivable grade of pond-scum. A less accurate, but more literal, translation is ‘foreigner’.
Q. I don’t live in Shanghai, am I a laowai?
A. If you can read, write and know who your parents actually are, rest assured that you are, indeed, a laowai.
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A Laowai Is Me
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I have come across this NYT article about Nancy Pelosi meeting the D*lai chap in India. The article also quotes the Chinese ambassador to India:
“We don’t allow anybody to meddle in China’s internal affairs… Any attempt to cause trouble to China is doomed to fail.”
Why does this remind me of this picture?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2025/2352391066_5939f479e7_o.jpg
And don’t even start me about Vogons: “All-resistance-is-futile…”
Bugger, yes! The article link is
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/22/world/asia/22prexy.html?_r=1&ref=asia&oref=slogin
Neddy, that’s the Borg (or was it Bjork?). The Vogons do poetry…
Umm… I messed this one up. Yes, poetry reading to captive audiences bit comes first. It’s followed by Vogon guard’s exhortations of “Resistance is useless!” Reminds me of a certain propaganda outfit.
wish the God will save your soul in the future,because you always lie
you son of bitch!!!!!!fuck you and your mother 1000 times!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck
[Edited to remove 5 pages of inability to write originally]
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
you son of bitch!!!!!!fuck you and your mother 1000 times!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck
[Edited because the 'author' is a potty-mouth, much like most of his/her/it's compatriots]
fuck fuck fuck fuck
you son of bitch!!!!!!fuck you and your mother 1000 times!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f
[Edited because it still isn't very interesting yet]
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fu
you son of bitch!!!!!!fuck you and your mother 1000 times!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck
[Edited because blah blah blah]
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fu
Try a news record, please. Or is this the great Chinese literary heritage at work?
I heard that the Chinese did actually write 4 famous books, none of which are known anywhere else…
YOU SPEAK ILL OF CHINA AND CHINESE, WHICH ONLY SHOWS U R AFRAID OF CHINA.
U R NOTHING BUT A IDIOT, SO SHAME ON U.
如果你觉得你很了不起,就甭在中国人的地盘上说鸟语,你会说中文吗?
来了中国16年了,你也真不长进,老外你就这么点智商,回弱智学院去吧
删除我贴就证明你不仅嚣张,而且弱智无知到令人发指的地步.
hey .. why do u called ur self a Laowai … shouldn’t it be Gui-lao ? (foriegn devil )
@MyLaowai,
when are u going to do a wacko jacko job on mrs laowai and turn her into a Gui-po … u need to bleach her before taking her home otherwise she will have a hard time blanding in